Saturday 5 July, 11.40pm, in a stone holiday cottage on the Cornish coast. Jade, 28, an events project manager from Leeds, is lying across a bed that creaks every time either of them breathes. The sash window is propped open on a night that refuses to cool down, the sea is just audible under the whirr of a desk fan, and the sheets smell of someone else's fabric conditioner. On the shelf — between an OS map of the South West Coast Path and a 1998 edition of Trivial Pursuit — her partner Callum has found an illustrated Kama Sutra with a dog-eared cover, left behind by previous guests. They decided to try page 43. Twenty seconds in, Callum got cramp in his calf. Jade got the giggles — loud enough to set off the dog in the next-door cottage.
The next morning, over coffee on the patio, she asked the question plenty of couples ask on holiday: between weeknight missionary and the contortions of page 43, is there really nothing in between? There are at least twelve positions — and a study that should reassure you. In 2016, a team from Chapman University published the answers of 38,747 people who had been with their partner for at least three years: the most sexually satisfied were more likely to have tried a new sexual position. Here are twelve positions that are less well known than the classics, each rated for difficulty and for the flexibility it asks of you — so you know whether you're in for a quiet evening or a fit of giggles.
Why trying a new position makes a difference in a relationship
A new position guarantees nothing — but in large surveys, variety tends to travel with sexual satisfaction. The study "What Keeps Passion Alive?", published in The Journal of Sex Research and announced by Chapman University in February 2016, looked at heterosexual men and women in long-term relationships in the US. Satisfied people were more likely than dissatisfied ones to say they had tried a new sexual position, taken a bath together or talked about their fantasies.
The most telling finding is about reading. The lead author, David Frederick, put it plainly: "Almost half of satisfied and dissatisfied couples read sexual self-help books and magazine articles, but what set sexually satisfied couples apart was that they actually tried some of the ideas." One caveat: this is a correlation. Nothing proves a new position makes anyone happier — happy couples may simply be keener to explore.
The study also measured how things wear: 83 per cent of participants said they were sexually satisfied in the first six months of their relationship, against only around half at the time of the survey. For ideas that don't involve positions at all, our no-taboo guide to reigniting desire in a long-term relationship covers the ground.
The Kama Sutra says much the same. In the chapter on positions, Richard Burton's 1883 English translation, free on Project Gutenberg, quotes this verse: "An ingenious person should multiply the kinds of congress after the fashion of the different kinds of beasts and of birds." The next verse adds that such variations — according to the customs of each country and the liking of each person — generate love, friendship and respect in the hearts of women.
How to read the difficulty and flexibility ratings
The scale below is my own: I found no study that ranks sex positions by difficulty. It is based on what each position asks of the body — balance, arm or thigh strength, hip opening, the stretch in the backs of your thighs (the hamstrings).
- Difficulty (1 to 5): 1, you'll manage it first time; 3, it takes one or two attempts; 5, it needs strength, balance and complete trust.
- Flexibility (1 to 5): 1, no particular range of movement; 3, you need to straighten your legs upwards or open your hips properly; 5, the splits (none of the twelve asks that much).
The ratings mostly concern the person being penetrated. For clarity, the descriptions refer to a penis; they work with a strap-on too. Our modern couple's guide to Kama Sutra positions covers the classics — missionary, spooning, cowgirl, seated face-to-face — while this one is about the variations.
| Position | Difficulty | Flexibility | Who leads | What works hardest |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. CAT (coital alignment) | 2/5 | 1/5 | both | coordination |
| 2. The twining | 1/5 | 1/5 | both | — |
| 3. The T-shape | 1/5 | 1/5 | partner | — |
| 4. The sphinx | 1/5 | 2/5 | partner | hip, arched back |
| 5. The pretzel | 2/5 | 2/5 | partner | hip rotation |
| 6. The corkscrew | 2/5 | 2/5 | partner | curled lower back |
| 7. The mermaid | 2/5 | 3/5 | partner | hamstrings |
| 8. The reverse chair | 2/5 | 1/5 | you | thighs |
| 9. The spider | 3/5 | 2/5 | both | arms, wrists |
| 10. Supported congress | 3/5 | 2/5 | both | balance, calves |
| 11. The wheelbarrow | 5/5 | 2/5 | partner | arms, shoulders |
| 12. Suspended congress | 5/5 | 2/5 | both | partner's back |
Before you try an adventurous position: four set-ups that prevent cramp
Talk first, and keep the right to stop. Suggesting a position is an offer — not a request. The sexual health charity Brook puts it simply: however far into a sexual situation you get, "you always have the right to change your mind and stop at any time". Agree on one simple word ("pause", "switch") that stops everything with no explanation needed.
Get aroused first. Positions that stretch you or change the angle are far easier when your body is already turned on and relaxed. Touch, massage, kissing — take that time before you look for the angle, not after.
Choose the right lubricant. New positions mean more friction. With latex condoms, only water-based or silicone-based lubricants will do — oil is out (more on that below, sun cream included).
Set the scene. Two firm pillows, a sofa cushion, a towel. Check that whatever will take your weight (chair, edge of the bed) is steady.
Positions 1 to 4: original, with no acrobatics
Little flexibility, hardly any strength: what makes these four interesting is a detail — an angle, a leg placed differently.
1. CAT, the coital alignment technique (difficulty 2/5, flexibility 1/5)
How to do it: start in missionary. Your partner slides a few centimetres up your body, until the base of his penis and his pubic bone rest against your clitoris. Then the movement changes: no more long thrusts, but a slow rocking — you push your pelvis up while he presses down, in turn.
What it offers: continuous clitoral stimulation during penetration, hands-free. CAT is one of the few positions that has actually been studied. A 1995 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy randomly assigned 36 married women (with their husbands) to a workshop teaching CAT (19 women) or to one on directed masturbation (17 women). Both groups improved: more consistent orgasms during intercourse, stronger orgasms, more orgasms with a partner. On orgasm consistency during intercourse, CAT did slightly better.
The limits: the sample is small and the study is old. And CAT takes adjusting to — the first attempts often feel like clumsy missionary. Keep one marker in mind: if his pubic bone is no longer touching yours, he has slipped too far down; the rest you can sort out with very short words ("higher", "slower"). Give it three evenings before you judge.
2. The twining position (difficulty 1/5, flexibility 1/5)
How to do it: face to face, lying on your sides or in missionary, you hook one thigh over your partner's and pull them towards you. Burton's translation describes it in one line: "When the woman places one of her thighs across the thigh of her lover, it is called the 'twining position.'"
What it offers: your bodies close in, your pubic bones stay close, penetration is shallower. It's the position for tired evenings and slow mornings.
The limits: movement is limited; loosen your thigh to gain range.
3. The T-shape (difficulty 1/5, flexibility 1/5)
How to do it: you lie on your back, across the bed. Your partner lies on his side, at right angles to you, his hips under your raised thighs — your legs rest over his hip. Seen from the ceiling, you make a T.
What it offers: your hands are free for your clitoris, and so are his, and you can look at each other without being squashed. On a sticky July night, contact is limited to your hips — a more serious argument than it sounds.
The limits: penetration can slip out of line. A pillow under your bottom brings both pelvises level.
4. The sphinx (difficulty 1/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: lying on your front, propped on your forearms like the Great Sphinx, you draw one knee up to the side, frog-style. Your partner lies over you from behind, supporting himself on his arms.
What it offers: the raised knee opens your hip and shifts the angle with every centimetre. From behind, pressure tends to go towards the front wall of the vagina — the area covered in our guide to G-spot sex positions, explained step by step. A cushion under your pubic bone gives your clitoris something to press against.
The limits: propping yourself up arches your lower back. If arching sets off back pain, switch to CAT or the twining position: lying on your front still keeps your back arched (see the section on backs).
Positions 5 to 7: lying down, with a little flexibility
These three stay horizontal, but they ask you to turn your hips, curl your lower back or straighten your legs. Start them at half range.
5. The pretzel (difficulty 2/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: lying on your left side, left leg straight on the mattress, you let your partner kneel astride it. You turn your chest towards the ceiling and wrap your right leg around his waist. Your bodies interlock — hence the name.
What it offers: the depth of a kneeling position, the face-to-face of missionary, and his hands free.
The limits: your lower hip works in rotation. Swap sides halfway.
6. The corkscrew (difficulty 2/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: lying on your side with your bottom at the edge of the bed, you draw your knees up towards your chest, legs together. Your partner stands facing your bottom (or kneels on a cushion if the bed is low).
What it offers: with your thighs pressed together, the entrance to the vagina narrows — sensations intensify on both sides without going deep.
The limits: your lower back curls, which bothers anyone whose pain gets worse when bending forward (see the section on backs). Bed height does the rest: a cushion under you corrects the gap.
7. The mermaid (difficulty 2/5, flexibility 3/5)
How to do it: on your back at the edge of the bed, a cushion under your bottom, you lift both legs straight and together towards the ceiling, ankles crossed against the shoulder of your partner, who stands in front of you. He holds your legs by the calves.
What it offers: legs together, the feeling of tightness is at its peak; hips raised, penetration aims for the front wall.
The limits: tight hamstrings will bend your knees — just let them. Depth can take you by surprise, because your pelvis tilts.
Positions 8 and 9: seated, for a new axis
Sitting down, you rock more than you thrust: a bit of strength, almost no flexibility.
8. The reverse chair (difficulty 2/5, flexibility 1/5)
How to do it: your partner sits on a sturdy chair with no armrests, feet flat. You sit on him, facing away, feet on the floor, hands on his knees. By pushing through your legs, you decide the rhythm and the depth.
What it offers: you lead everything, and his hands are free for your clitoris and breasts. The face-to-face version appears in our guide to the classics; facing away, the angle changes and you gain freedom of movement.
The limits: your thighs will burn quickly. Alternate lifting and rocking your hips to give them a rest. And forget the plastic patio chair — it isn't built for two.
9. The spider (difficulty 3/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: sitting face to face on the bed, you both lean back on your hands. Your legs go over his, knees bent, and your hips meet in the middle.
What it offers: slow, small movements and eye contact that doesn't look away — for many couples, the most intimate of the twelve.
The limits: wrists and triceps tire quickly. Drop onto your forearms, or wedge a pillow behind each of you.
Positions 10 to 12: standing and carried, for adventurous couples
These are the film-scene positions. Two of them already appear in the Kama Sutra. They take balance and strength — and one golden rule: you stop as soon as either of you tires.
10. Supported congress, standing against the wall (difficulty 3/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: standing with your back against a wall, facing your partner, you lift one leg — he supports it under the knee, or you rest it on a step or a stool. Burton's translation calls it the "supported congress": a man and a woman who "support themselves on each other's bodies, or on a wall, or pillar", and have sex standing.
What it offers: urgency, face-to-face contact, a change of scene.
The limits: height difference decides everything. If you're much shorter, stand on the bottom stair; if he is, he does. The calves of whoever is on tiptoe give out fast. And a wet floor is slippery: not a first attempt in the shower.
11. The wheelbarrow (difficulty 5/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: you're on your hands, facing the floor. Your partner, standing behind you, holds your thighs at hip height: your body is horizontal, like a wheelbarrow being pushed. Gentler version — forearms on the edge of the bed, chest on a cushion.
What it offers: honestly, mostly the challenge: arms, shoulders or head (where the blood rushes) call time quickly.
12. Suspended congress (difficulty 5/5, flexibility 2/5)
How to do it: this is the Kama Sutra's "suspended congress". The man leans against a wall; the woman sits on his joined hands, puts her arms round his neck, presses her thighs along his waist and moves herself with her feet, which touch the wall. The modern, less demanding version: your back is against the wall, and the wall takes some of your weight.
What it offers: the feeling of being carried. And a detail that matters — in the original text, it's the woman who drives the movement, with her feet.
The limits: the load sits on your partner's back and arms, and I found no study measuring what it does to the spine. Plan an exit: a few steps to the edge of the bed, and you're in the mermaid.
The mare: the Kama Sutra technique that works with every position
The mare isn't a thirteenth position — it's a move you can add to all twelve. Burton's translation defines it like this: "When a woman forcibly holds in her yoni the lingam after it is in, it is called the 'mare's position.'" It then adds: "This is learnt by practice only".
In practice, you tighten the muscles around your vagina during penetration — your pelvic floor. A patient leaflet from Gloucestershire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust on pelvic floor exercises for women lists what these muscles do, from supporting the bladder to this: "They increase sexual satisfaction during sexual intercourse." To find them, the NHS suggests imagining you're stopping yourself peeing and passing wind.
It was a midwife who introduced me to these muscles, during my second pregnancy. I had never imagined my pelvic floor could do anything other than "hold on". That's my experience — not evidence — but a good starting point.
Squeeze for a few seconds, relax completely, repeat. Positions where you're fairly still suit it best (the twining position, the corkscrew, the reverse chair). A women's health physiotherapist or a midwife can help you find the right muscles.
Back, hips, knees: adapting the twelve positions to your body
A position that hurts is not a good position, however often it tops the lists. For backs, research adds a useful nuance. Researchers at the University of Waterloo tracked the spines of 10 couples with motion capture in five common positions — a study announced in October 2014 and published in the European Spine Journal. Their conclusion upends a popular belief: spooning, long recommended to everyone with back pain, can be one of the worst positions for certain types of pain.
It all depends on which movement triggers the pain. If your back complains when you arch it or lie on your front, the researchers suggest missionary instead of spooning, with a pillow under the small of your back. If it complains when you bend forward or sit for long, they recommend spooning, or doggy style with your upper body supported on your hands rather than your elbows.
Applied to the twelve — this is my reading, since the researchers tested neither the sphinx nor the corkscrew:
- If arching hurts: be wary of the sphinx and the wheelbarrow; favour CAT, the twining position or the T-shape.
- If bending forward hurts: be wary of the corkscrew and the mermaid; the sphinx, propped on your hands rather than your forearms, is closest to the hands-supported doggy style the researchers suggest.
- For knees and hips: do the pretzel and the spider on a soft mattress; raise the knee gradually.
Our guide to comfortable positions for couples with back pain or limited mobility goes into supports and props. Pain that lingers after sex is worth mentioning to your GP.
Adventurous positions on holiday: heat, strange beds, sun cream
The heat. On a warm night, low-contact positions (the T-shape, the reverse chair, the spider) stop you sticking to each other. Keep a bottle of water by the bed.
The unfamiliar bed. Too low, and it ruins the mermaid and the corkscrew; too soft, and it swallows the CAT angle. Test it first, fully clothed.
Sun cream and oil. Tanning oil, massage oil and oily after-sun are all oil-based. The NHS page on condoms is unequivocal: "do not use oil-based lubricant with latex condoms – use water-based or silicone-based lubricant instead". It also reminds you to use a new condom every time you have sex. For your beach bag, see our complete guide to choosing and applying sun protection.
Your bladder. For cystitis, the NHS's prevention advice includes peeing as soon as possible after sex and drinking plenty of fluids, especially water, so that you pee regularly during the day. On holiday, when the heat makes you sweat and the water bottle stays in the car, that reminder is worth having.
Frequently asked questions
Which adventurous position is easiest to start with?
The twining position and the T-shape ask the least effort and flexibility (1/5 on our scale). CAT, only slightly more technical, starts from missionary.
Do you need to be flexible to try Kama Sutra positions?
For most of them, no. Of our twelve, only one calls for real flexibility (the mermaid, legs straight up), and you can bend your knees in it. The real requirement for the advanced positions is strength and balance.
Which position helps female orgasm during penetration?
None guarantees it. CAT is one of the few that has been studied: in a 1995 study of 36 married women, learning it improved orgasm consistency during intercourse, slightly more than directed masturbation. Positions that leave a hand free for the clitoris (the T-shape, the reverse chair, the pretzel) are good candidates too.
How do you suggest a new position without offending your partner?
Present it as a game, not a correction: read a description together, away from the bed, or each choose one from the list. And agree on a word to stop — you can change your mind at any time, even mid-sex.
Are standing positions dangerous?
The main risks are falls, cramp and strain on the back of whoever is doing the carrying. Build the rhythm gradually and always keep something to lean on within reach (bed, wall, step).
Can you use massage oil with a condom?
Not with a latex condom: the NHS advises against oil-based lubricants with latex. Choose a water-based or silicone-based lubricant, and rinse off tanning oil before protected sex.
What should you do if a position hurts?
Stop, reduce the depth or change the angle, and add lubricant if needed. If the pain keeps coming back, see your GP or a sexual health clinic.
Sources
- Chapman University (ScienceDaily) — What keeps passion alive in long-term relationships? (2016)
- Hurlbert D. F., Apt C. — The coital alignment technique and directed masturbation, J Sex Marital Ther (1995)
- Vatsyayana — The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana, translated by Richard Burton (1883), Project Gutenberg
- Gloucestershire Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust — Pelvic floor exercises for women
- NHS — Urinary incontinence: 10 ways to stop leaks (pelvic floor exercises)
- University of Waterloo (ScienceDaily) — New findings will improve the sex lives of women with back problems (2014)
- Brook — Sex and consent
- Brook — Painful sex
- NHS — Condoms
- NHS — Cystitis
- What is the most dangerous sexual position that caused the penile fracture? A systematic review and meta-analysis — International Brazilian Journal of Urology (2024)
- Crown Prosecution Service — Public order offences incorporating the charging standard