In the waiting room of a sexual health clinic, on a Thursday lunch break cut short, Tamsin — 27, a customer adviser at a high-street bank — is pretending to read a magazine that still smells of glossy paper. On the low table, between two out-of-date issues, lies a leaflet on sexual health; she reads the first line, puts it down, picks it up again. The question she'd like to ask fits into three words: "is that normal?" Tamsin spends her days answering customers' questions, and she already knows she won't ask her own.
You probably know that kind of question, the one you keep to yourself. Yet female masturbation is hardly a fringe activity: in the 1999–2001 round of Britain's National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal), more than a third of women aged 16 to 44 said they had masturbated in the previous four weeks; in the 2010–12 wave, the figure among women aged 25 to 34 reached 43.7%. The practice is common. The conversation, like Tamsin's question, mostly goes unspoken. Here is what the research really says about the benefits — sleep, stress, getting to know your body, period pain — which myths don't survive scrutiny, and how to start if you've never dared.
Female masturbation: what the numbers say in Britain
Female masturbation is common in Britain, even if fewer women than men report it. The national reference is Natsal, a stratified probability survey of the British population. Its 1999–2001 survey interviewed 11,161 people aged 16 to 44, partly through computer-assisted self-interviews (participants keyed in some answers themselves).
The headline figures: 73% of men and 36.8% of women reported masturbating in the four weeks before the interview. That's a large gap — and the authors describe "significant variations in reporting between men and women". Part of that gap is probably about what women feel able to say (a survey measures answers, not behaviour).
The next wave, Natsal-3 (2010–12), found that 32.9% of women aged 16 to 74 had masturbated in the previous four weeks — 43.7% of those aged 25 to 34 — against 66.4% of men, according to the Natsal-3 findings published in The Lancet in 2013. Brand surveys go higher: the sexual health charity Brook quotes a 2019 study by TENGA in which 91% of UK respondents said they masturbate — a figure to read with the sponsor in mind.
Where do the myths about masturbation come from?
Many myths about masturbation have a birth date. In 1760, the Swiss physician Samuel-Auguste Tissot published L'Onanisme, a treatise on the illnesses that masturbation supposedly caused. According to an analysis in the history journal Gesnerus, it was the first time the subject was tackled from a strictly medical angle — and the book had a deep and lasting influence. Behind its scientific vocabulary sat a religious morality that never spoke its name.
By 1767, an English translation — Onanism; or, A treatise upon the disorders produced by masturbation — was already in its third edition in London; a copy is held by the Wellcome Collection. The fear it spread — that pleasure drains your health — echoed through generations of whispered warnings. None of them has stood up to scrutiny.
For women, the silence was twofold. Even the clitoris was still poorly described in anatomy textbooks in the early 2000s: in 2005, a review in the Journal of Urology judged typical textbook descriptions incomplete and inaccurate. The result — many adult women learnt their own bodies by trial and error, with a vague sense of doing something slightly shameful.
Seven myths about female masturbation, checked
Myths about female masturbation get passed down almost unchanged; only the wording moves on. Brook's guide to busting myths about female masturbation takes on several of them. Here are seven, checked against public health sources and research.
"It's bad for your health"
No. Brook is unequivocal: "There is absolutely no risk to your health from masturbation." The only real risks are an allergic reaction to a toy or lube, or infection from cross-contamination — both avoidable with basic hygiene (clean hands, short nails, washed toys).
"Women don't really do it"
They do — in Natsal-3, 43.7% of women aged 25 to 34 had done so in the previous four weeks alone. Brook's answer to the idea that girls are less sexual than boys: "The idea that people's sexuality depends on their gender is a myth."
"It's for women who can't find a partner"
The data point the other way. In Natsal, women who masturbated also tended to report more frequent vaginal sex and a wider sexual repertoire. Brook turns the argument round: its advice is that "getting to know your body first helps you to understand your likes and dislikes, which can lead to more pleasurable sexual experiences" (whether or not you have a partner).
"There's a right way to do it"
There isn't. In a New Zealand survey of 698 women, 76% used clitoral stimulation, compared with 35.4% who used vaginal stimulation or penetration — a long way from the penetration-centred picture many of us grew up with. Brook's line is simple: "Whatever their preference, people should masturbate in ways that feel good for them."
"It changes the shape of your vulva"
No. As Brook puts it: "Our bodies can't permanently stretch because of masturbation or sex." Labia come in every size and shape, and masturbation doesn't reshape them.
"Vibrators will desensitise you"
The evidence doesn't support this. In a nationally representative US study of 2,056 women aged 18 to 60, 52.5% had used a vibrator. Recent users scored higher on most areas of sexual function (desire, arousal, lubrication, orgasm), and 71.5% of women had never experienced any genital symptoms linked to vibrator use. The authors concluded that vibrator use is rarely associated with side effects.
"You can get addicted"
Frequency on its own tells you nothing — what matters is what the habit is doing for you. Brook puts it plainly: "Masturbation should be fun, and is not bad for you, but sometimes people can end up masturbating compulsively or for the sake of it." The World Health Organization's ICD-11 (its international classification of diseases) recognises compulsive sexual behaviour disorder, defined as "a persistent pattern of failure to control intense, repetitive sexual impulses or urges resulting in repetitive sexual behaviour". As the World Federation of Societies of Biological Psychiatry guidelines point out, "Distress that is entirely related to moral judgments and disapproval about sexual impulses, urges, or behaviours is not enough to meet this requirement." Feeling guilty is not the same as having a disorder.
Knowing your body: what masturbation actually teaches you
The first well-documented benefit of masturbation is precise knowledge of your own body (and of what it likes). That starts with anatomy. A 2005 review of clitoral anatomy by Helen O'Connell and colleagues in the Journal of Urology describes the clitoris as a multi-plane structure, with erectile bodies (bulbs, body and crura) that partly surround the urethra and vagina. The glans — the small visible part — is its only external manifestation. The authors note that typical textbook descriptions "lack detail and include inaccuracies".
That anatomy explains something many women discover with relief. In a nationally representative US survey of 1,055 women aged 18 to 94, carried out in 2015, only 18.4% said intercourse alone was enough for them to orgasm. 36.6% needed clitoral stimulation during intercourse; another 36% said their orgasms felt better with it. Masturbation is where plenty of women first find this out — with no audience, no pressure, at their own pace.
This isn't just intuition. For women who have never had an orgasm or rarely do — a difficulty affecting up to 28% of women in the United States, according to the estimates cited — Erica Marchand's review in Sexual Medicine Reviews concludes that the best-supported approaches are directed masturbation, sensate focus (gradual touch exercises, alone and then together) and psychotherapy. Directed masturbation is simply a guided, step-by-step way of learning what you feel.
Masturbation and sleep: widely felt, not yet proven
Many people feel they sleep better after masturbating — but that feeling hasn't yet been confirmed by objective measurement. The most quoted data come from an Australian survey from Central Queensland University, published in Frontiers in Public Health in 2019. It ran online with 778 adults (442 women and 336 men, average age 34.5).
Among those who answered the relevant questions, 54.1% felt they slept better after an orgasm from masturbation, and 47.4% said they fell asleep more easily. There were no differences between women and men. So the idea that only men "nod off afterwards" doesn't hold.
The limits are real, and the authors flag them. These are self-reported perceptions, not recorded sleep. The paper notes that the only study to record sleep in a laboratory after masturbation — using polysomnography, the gold standard — involved just five men and five women. Its set-up (a researcher removing a probe straight after orgasm) may well have delayed sleep. The proposed mechanism — oxytocin and prolactin released after orgasm, cortisol falling — remains a hypothesis.
For roughly one person in two, then, a solo orgasm before bed feels calming. It is not a treatment for insomnia: sleep problems that last deserve a conversation with your GP.
Masturbation, stress and mood: what women report
After pleasure itself, relaxation is the reason women give most often for masturbating. In an online survey of 698 women in New Zealand (a 2022 study), 74.7% listed sexual pleasure among their reasons, 60.7% relaxation and stress relief, 41.7% easing sexual tension and 20.7% overcoming feelings of anxiety or low mood. Around 10% mentioned other reasons — including help getting to sleep.
A study published in 2024 in the International Journal of Sexual Health looked at this link in 370 women. Those under more psychological strain reported more frequent clitoral masturbation. In their own words, they described it as a reliable coping strategy and a form of self-care. Very few reported negative feelings about it.
A word of caution, though. These studies rely on volunteers and show associations. They don't prove that masturbation lowers stress — only that many women use it that way, and feel better for it.
Masturbation and period pain: a promising idea, thin evidence
Orgasm may ease period pain, but the evidence is thin. The most widely quoted study, called Menstrubation, was run by two brands — a sex toy maker and a menstrual cup maker. That's worth knowing before you weigh the results.
The set-up: 486 participants from 19 countries, including the UK (average age 27), replaced their painkillers with masturbation during their periods for three months, using products supplied by the brands. Average pain intensity, scored from 1 to 10, fell from 6.7 at the start to 5.4 at the end of the testing phase. 70% said regular masturbation had reduced the intensity of their pain. Asked which worked better, they were split almost evenly: 43% said medication, 42% masturbation.
Interesting figures — but not proof. There was no control group, and participants knew what was being tested and had been given a product. Some of the improvement may reflect expectation, or the natural variation between cycles (the design can't separate the two). Brook notes that "some people find that orgasms can be a great way of relieving cramps" — which matches what a lot of women say, without settling the question. The proposed mechanism — endorphins, the uterus contracting then relaxing, increased blood flow — is plausible, but it wasn't measured.
As for what's established, the NHS advice on period pain includes a warm bath or shower, a heat pad or hot water bottle "wrapped in a tea towel on your tummy", gentle exercise and "painkillers like paracetamol or ibuprofen". Nothing stops you trying an orgasm on top of that, if you feel like it — masturbating during your period carries no particular risk, as long as hands and toys are clean.
Masturbation and partnered sex: rivals or allies?
Masturbation doesn't compete with partnered sex — more often, it feeds it. In Natsal, it was also more common among women reporting sexual difficulties: sometimes it's a resource when things between two people aren't working.
Above all, what you learn alone travels well. Knowing that you need clitoral stimulation — at what rhythm, with what pressure — changes how you can guide someone else. Our shame-free guide to female pleasure and orgasm covers how to raise it and how to bring that stimulation into sex; our foreplay ideas for couples work in the same direction.
Mutual masturbation — touching yourself in front of each other, or together — is a very concrete way of showing rather than explaining. It takes trust, and it can build it. As for the images that surface while you masturbate, many women have fantasies they have no wish to live out. That's normal — our piece on female fantasies, between taboo and reality explains why.
Masturbating for the first time: starting without pressure or a goal
Starting to masturbate mostly takes time, privacy and the absence of a goal. Orgasm isn't the point of the first time — or necessarily the ones after. A simple way in, to adapt as you like:
- Set the scene. A time with nothing booked afterwards, a warm room, a closed door, your phone on silent. A bath or shower first helps some women relax.
- Start away from your genitals. Tummy, inner thighs, breasts — let arousal build before moving to the vulva.
- Explore without aiming. Vary the pressure (light, firm), the movement (circles, up and down, tapping), the spot (on the glans, through the hood, to the sides). Direct contact can feel too intense at first.
- Use a lubricant if friction feels uncomfortable — Boots, Superdrug and most supermarkets stock them.
- Let images come — memories, scenarios — without judging them.
If nothing much happens, that's not failure. For a first time, feeling good and a little more curious is plenty. Pleasure often builds over several tries, sometimes over weeks; a body that feels watched or timed responds less well. And if low libido takes away any wish to try, it's worth looking into the causes (rather than forcing things).
On hygiene, keep it simple: wash your hands, keep your nails short, and never use anything on your genitals that has been near your anus without washing it or putting a fresh condom on it first. That's Brook's advice too: "To avoid infection, never use anything on your genitals which has been in contact with your anus or rectum without washing it or putting a condom on it first."
Sex toys: choosing, cleaning and sharing safely
Sex toys are commonplace, and their main risk is hygiene rather than the toy itself. In a US study of 800 women (a mix of survey and interviews), 79.9% used them; of those, 31.8% shared them with a partner — yet only 14% regularly used a condom when they did. The vast majority (81.8%) washed their toys, mostly with soap and water.
Sharing is where care matters. Brook calls masturbation "the safest form of sexual activity because you cannot contract an STI, as long as you are not sharing toys with other people." If you do share, a fresh condom for each person is the simple rule.
When choosing, look for something easy to clean, with clear care instructions. For a first toy, a small external stimulator (one that isn't inserted) tends to feel less daunting. And a vibrator is never compulsory — hands work perfectly well.
Masturbation worries: when to talk to a GP or a professional
Masturbation itself needs no medical follow-up (it's not a condition) — but some situations around it do. These are the signs to talk to your GP, a sexual health clinic or a psychosexual therapist.
- Pain during or after masturbation, or burning or irritation that keeps coming back.
- Very painful periods that painkillers barely touch — a sign that can point to endometriosis, among other causes.
- Difficulty reaching orgasm that bothers you, alone or with a partner: effective help exists.
- Masturbation that feels out of your control, done without pleasure to numb anxiety.
- Overwhelming guilt, carried over from upbringing or a painful experience.
None of this is embarrassing to bring up. Pleasure — including the pleasure you give yourself — is part of sexual health, and the professionals who deal with sexual health have heard every question before.
Set aside an evening this week just for you, with nothing to achieve. What you learn is yours.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to masturbate when you're in a relationship?
Yes. In Natsal, women who masturbated were more likely to report frequent vaginal sex. As Brook puts it: "If you masturbate, it says nothing about the state of your relationship or sex life."
How often is too often?
No frequency is "too much" in itself. The warning sign is what it's doing for you: masturbation without pleasure, used to numb tension or anxiety and taking over daily life, deserves a conversation with your GP or a psychosexual therapist.
Can masturbation change the shape of my vulva?
No. Brook is clear that "Our bodies can't permanently stretch because of masturbation or sex." Labia vary enormously from one woman to another, and masturbation doesn't alter them.
Can a vibrator desensitise the clitoris?
The evidence doesn't show it. In a representative US study of 2,056 women, 71.5% had never experienced any genital symptom linked to vibrator use, and recent users scored higher on sexual function.
Is it normal not to orgasm when masturbating?
Yes, especially at first — pleasure usually builds over several tries. If it persists and bothers you, directed masturbation, sensate focus and psychotherapy are the best-supported approaches for orgasm difficulties.
Is it OK to masturbate on my period?
Yes, with clean hands and toys (and a towel, if you're worried about the sheets). Whether orgasm eases cramps is still poorly proven. Intense pain that painkillers barely touch is a reason to see your GP.
Can masturbation cause an infection?
The risk is low and comes down to hygiene: washed hands, short nails, toys cleaned after every use, and nothing moving from the anal area to the vulva without being washed or given a fresh condom. If you share a toy, use a new condom for each person.
Sources
- Gerressu M. et al. — Prevalence of masturbation in a British national probability survey (Natsal), Archives of Sexual Behavior (2008)
- Mercer C. H. et al. — Changes in sexual attitudes and lifestyles in Britain (Natsal-3), The Lancet (2013)
- Brook — Masturbation
- Brook — Busting myths about female masturbation (2020)
- NHS — Period pain
- Wellcome Collection — Tissot, Onanism (London, 1767)
- Singy P. — Tissot's L'Onanisme, Gesnerus (2000)
- O'Connell H. E. et al. — Anatomy of the clitoris, Journal of Urology (2005)
- Herbenick D. et al. — Genital touching, sexual pleasure and orgasm (2018)
- Herbenick D. et al. — Vibrator use by women in the United States (2009)
- Marchand E. — Treatment of Female Orgasmic Disorder, Sexual Medicine Reviews (2021)
- Lastella M. et al. — Sex and Sleep, Frontiers in Public Health (2019)
- Csako R. I. et al. — Female Sexuality in Aotearoa/New Zealand (2022)
- Wehrli F. S. V. et al. — Masturbation as a Coping Strategy in Women (2024)
- Collar A. L. et al. — Sexual Enrichment Aids among Women (2022)
- Turner D. et al. — WFSBP guidelines on compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (2022)
- Womanizer and Lunette — The Menstrubation Study (brand-funded)